A person who wasn’t even four feet tall had the
entire terminal, and later our entire flight in the
palm of his angry little hand. John, as we came to know
him because he persistently announced it to everybody,
who made eye contact with him, couldn’t have been
five years old, yet pushed me and my photographer to
limits we weren’t expecting to be pushed today.
He was mad, sad, glad and always seemed to enjoy being
bad. Especially when he claimed the seat my photographer
was assigned as him moms. ‘That’s my mom’s
seat,’ he insisted as my photographer attemped
to sit down. When we were all awake he slept. And when
everybody finally started to doze off, he shot to attention
and started rambling off inane and incredibly trivial
facts about things nobody cared about, but were too
afraid to challenge him on. Thankfully another sucker
traded seats with my photographer and the unknowing
victim of the trade was forced to listen to Lil’
John’s B.S. for the entire trip.
The point of bringing up John was that despite his
attempts at what he probably thought were humor, all
he did was annoy. He just doesn’t have that well-timed
wit yet. I do, enough to let you know that you will
learn who my photographer is when he does something
worth noting.
Picking the right aperture to take a shot isn’t
the criteria I am looking for. As I stated days earlier,
he’s single and all of us that are now off the
market (me for well over a decade) are planning on living
vicariously through him. If he doesn’t talk to
some girls one day, but gets me a great shot of a bunch
of dudes drinking in a beer garden…he gets a smack
to the back of his head. If he gets home early so that
he can rest up for the next day… hardcore smack
to the head. If he doesn’t live like we all wish
we could the next few weeks…bam! Smack to the
head!
There
is no middle ground. Do it or don’t…but
there’s no pretending anymore. We’re here,
and we are bringing you with us. I just got back from
watching the England vs T&T game with about 30,000
other rabid soccer fans along the river. We all watched
on huge televisions that are literally coming out of
the water as you can see in the pictures. The weather
is great, the drinks taste good, I’m dead-tired
but there’s no way I’m slowing down with
this much going on. In fact, I learned something today
from angry Lil’ John. It’s that people listen
when you have something entertaining to talk about.
Lil’ John might not have made much sense, but
he did get a good laugh out of us about 10 hours into
our flight.
Tomorrow: A full day of debauchery.
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Inside
the Touchline
Kicking off each
issue, we cover everything from the weird and wacky to the latest
developments affecting the game we love.
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News and views from
a passionate perspective on the global game; Asia, Europe, Africa
and both Americas. It's all in play.
Mark's
Mayhem
A place where absolutely
nothing is off-limits and only the strong survive.
Stoppage
Time
A parting shot that sometimes
shocks and always delights. One last reminder to look out for us
next time.
He was mad, sad, glad and always seemed to enjoy being
bad. Especially when he claimed the seat my photographer
was assigned as him moms. ‘That’s my mom’s
seat,’ he insisted as my photographer attemped
to sit down. When we were all awake he slept. And when
everybody finally started to doze off, he shot to attention
and started rambling off inane and incredibly trivial
facts about things nobody cared about, but were too
afraid to challenge him on. Thankfully another sucker
traded seats with my photographer and the unknowing
victim of the trade was forced to listen to Lil’
John’s B.S. for the entire trip.
attempts at what he probably thought were humor, all
he did was annoy. He just doesn’t have that well-timed
wit yet. I do, enough to let you know that you will
learn who my photographer is when he does something
worth noting. 
There
is no middle ground. Do it or don’t…but
there’s no pretending anymore. We’re here,
and we are bringing you with us. I just got back from
watching the England vs T&T game with about 30,000
other rabid soccer fans along the river. We all watched
on huge televisions that are literally coming out of
the water as you can see in the pictures. The weather
is great, the drinks taste good, I’m dead-tired
but there’s no way I’m slowing down with
this much going on. In fact, I learned something today
from angry Lil’ John. It’s that people listen
when you have something entertaining to talk about.
Lil’ John might not have made much sense, but
he did get a good laugh out of us about 10 hours into
our flight.
